Holes at Gethsemane

by Winslow Dumaine

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Youtube Main track: youtu.be/R3IKSssFbms
Youtube Epilogue: youtu.be/NaSsDpc5VAs
My photography, drawings and writings: weeperblast.deviantart.com
My MetalBandNames twitter: twitter.com#!/MetalNames
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Holes at Gethsemane is a radio-comedy retelling of my two favorite bible stories, inspired by Firesign Theatre’s flow-of-consciousness style stoner-humor. It’s my first album release of any kind.

‘Holes’ is a product of a many small changes in my attitude and personality. Recently, I realized that too many of my beliefs relied on the negative, in that they focused too much on striking down the beliefs of others. I needed something more productive, but I still find the crazy things other people believe to be enormously entertaining. I kept this element, but I augmented it with creativity, in an effort to turn my anger into a viable artistic endeavor.

The bible, to me and many million others, is a tremendous omnibus of legends and folklore. For its reputation as a great work of perfect morals and ground-breaking ethical revelations, I find it to be nothing more than a compilation of hilariously absurd, wildly nonsensical and downright filthy stories. I feel that, while most of my countrymen are familiar with the most major bible stories, some of the best and strangest are overlooked. I want to poke holes in the logic of these stories, and show my listeners how ludicrous the bible really is.

The characters for this piece are fairly straight forward. The relationship between God and Christ is based on the profane prepubescent gamers on Xbox live, who are infamous for their utter lack of filter and general misanthropic whining. I wanted God and Christ to be roommates who, having lived with each other since the beginning of time, have grown sick of each other and now just bicker bitterly.

My version of Christ finds him as a world-weary asshole, who knows exactly what he has to do in order to get back into heaven. That being said, the reward of returning to heaven isn’t that such a lovely prize when his kingdom is inhabited by sycophants and mewling onlookers, where he lives as an eternal celebrity being mobbed by a sea of screaming fans. He got a raw deal, and now he must live his life on a shithole planet, inhabited by nothing but hostile, illiterate mongrels, get betrayed by one of his best friends, be tortured for hours, die, go into the depths of hell, and then return to live with his dad. You’d be unhappy, too.

I’d be interested in re-telling other bible stories, either from different parts of the book, or to continue where this one left off. I’ve got several other comedic works that would be fantastic as radio-dramas.

Dead Animal Kingdom: A socially conflicted group of scavengers are trapped in a military controlled no-living-beings-allowed area, after bizarre animal-human hybridization triggers a nuclear war.

The Purple Avenger: A miserable pseudo-superhero hunts down the world’s most ruthless capitalist after he learns of his plans to create a second Texas, suspended above the Amazon jungle.

Devil: Set in the 1950's, a group of young boys cite odd coincidences and Christian symbolism in their plan to murder the fifteen year old that moved into to their neighborhood.

The Red Sound: A cataclysmic tremor and the brain-death of hundreds of WWI soldiers finds a Philadelphia psychiatrist studying the trans-dimensional visions had by a few of the survivors, only to find that he has been marked for deletion by an otherworldly entity known as 'The Red God'.

Let me know what you think about Holes and, if you’re interested, tell me what else you’d like to see from me!

Thanks for listening,

Winslow Dumaine


released June 1, 2012

Holes at Gethsemane - 31:49
Holes Outro - 6:47

Written and performed by Winslow Dumaine.
Sounds effects organized with help from Matthew Danner.
Voice of God by Tatum O'Brien.

Photography and inside art edited by Winslow Dumaine.
Front and back art edited by Jessica Smolinski (www.jasmo3.deviantart.com).

All sound effects provided by royalty-free sources.
Intro and outro song is 'NoGoodLayabout' by Kevin Macleod



all rights reserved


Winslow Dumaine Omaha, Nebraska

I'm a writer, photographer and an amateur journalist. Talk to me if you want to know more.

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